Many top-performing companies say they are committed to supporting women in the workplace, and there’s reason to believe most men want to be better allies to women as well. They just don’t know how.

We are business professors who recently surveyed more than 400 managers about gender equity. We found that while men and women agree on what gender equity means in principle, they often disagree on what it takes to achieve it. Bridging that gap matters – without it, well-meaning leaders may take actions that do nothing or even backfire.

For our analysis, we interviewed 227 male managers and 209 female managers. When we asked them to name three words they associated with gender equity, they responded with remarkably similar answers.

But when it came to naming specific actions, clear differences emerged. Male managers were more than twice as likely as their female counterparts to think gender equity requires “extreme” sacrifice. What’s more, men were less likely than women to connect everyday workplace behaviors – such as challenging misogynistic behavior, taking paternity leave and offering a flexible work environment – with advancing equity.

This suggests a problem: If men and women envision the path to equity differently, progress will stall. That’s why it’s important to remember that gender equity isn’t a zero-sum game. Great leadership means building equity into daily practices to create a workplace that works for everyone. Research points to three practical moves leaders can make right now.

Speak up without speaking over

One of the biggest perception gaps has to do with challenging misogynistic behavior at work. Research shows that when men call out bad behavior, it benefits women’s well-being and reduces the likelihood of future incidents.

However, men often weigh the potential social costs before speaking up, which can lead them to not engage or to reinforce gender stereotypes. For example, they may worry about alienating other men or being seen as “too judgmental.”

Clear, shared workplace standards can help. Setting explicit expectations about respectful communication can reduce uncertainty and encourage collaboration. It can also relieve the hidden cognitive burden men may feel about saying the wrong thing. It’s important to avoid creating a “gotcha” mentality and instead use mistakes as growth opportunities.

Establishing team norms that include speaking from one’s own experience and beginning with inquiry instead of scrutiny can help encourage fruitful dialogue. Reminding employees of shared values and encouraging everyone to seek to understand before jumping to conclusions is helpful. When managers hear out employee hesitations and verbally reward inclusive behavior, norms are reinforced.

This is especially important in a climate where high-profile CEOs are promoting narrow, stereotypical visions of leadership – for example, by calling for more “masculine energy” in corporate settings. Even male allies who disagree might be reluctant to challenge such views. But confronting those norms is crucial – not only for women’s benefit, but also men’s.

That’s because rhetoric that reinforces a single idea of masculinity sets unattainable standards for how men should act in the workplace. It also discourages them from expressing stereotypically “feminine” qualities such as empathy, collaboration and emotional intelligence that are also critical for leaders to succeed. When men speak up, it can broaden the definition of leadership for everyone.

Take paternity leave

Another gap we found had to do with how managers viewed men taking paternity leave. The majority of female managers we surveyed considered it vital to gender equity, but many male managers didn’t see the connection.

The evidence, however, is clear: Ample research suggests that paternity leave creates more gender-inclusive environments. Paternity leave normalizes the role of men in sharing the caregiving responsibilities from the start, which not only enables increased female participation in the workforce but has also been shown to reduce sexist attitudes, result in a more equitable division of labor at home, and may even help to increase women’s wages.

One reason men avoid taking paternity leave is fear of social judgment. Research shows that most Americans support paid leave for both mothers and fathers, but that value doesn’t translate to practice – 76% of fathers return to work one week after the birth of their child. It’s not uncommon for men to approve of paternity leave and want to take it themselves, but to hold back because of what they think other men think. This phenomenon – where you base your actions on what you think others think, not what you actually think – is known as pluralistic ignorance.

Facing pressure to be the breadwinner, fear of career setbacks, and stereotypes that say men aren’t as good at caregiving, lead many men to worry that taking paternity leave may not be seen as “manly.” If men were more open about their desire to take paternity leave, it could create a domino effect, reducing the stigma associated with leave for all parents.

Advocate for flexibility

The same principle applies to flexible work environments, which reduce fatigue and burnout for caregivers and noncaregivers alike. Men and women say that flexible work, which includes both flexible hours and flexible work locations, is a top-three employee benefit and critical to a company’s success.

However, men may be concerned about asking for a more flexible schedule, especially for caregiving, because it violates norms about masculinity and the ideal worker. For instance, men may be hesitant to admit they prefer a 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. schedule to handle school pickups, because they may consider that “a woman’s job” or because they think it will make them seem less committed to their job.

The more everyone uses flexible work practices, the less stigmatized they become for all employees, regardless of gender or caregiving status. Encouraging their use can be as simple as providing models to men of high-status workers who incorporate flexible work practices.

For example, the financial services firm Moody’s has been implementing a “PurposeFirst” approach to flexible work, in which teams decide when in-person collaboration is essential and when remote work is more efficient. If one team needs time for more “heads-up” or collaborative work, then they have set times and office space to make sure that happens. Teams that spend more hours on “heads-down work” may not need the office space but might need more virtual check-ins.

This is crucial, since research has shown that the biggest downside of hybrid or remote work is lost opportunities to connect with colleagues. However, hybrid work was not associated with lower performance or increased work-family conflict. This shows that you can achieve the overarching goals of flexibility without also increasing isolation.

Our findings suggest that men and women often share the same values around gender equity but differ in which actions they prioritize. This gap can leave even well-intended leaders unsure of how to act. That’s why it’s important they know that benefits for women don’t come at men’s expense – they create healthier, more sustainable workforces for everyone.

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.